Chelsea give us the PowerPoint presentation on how to win at The Football Game.

Chelsea 2 – 1 Wigan
English Premier League, Stamford Bridge, February 28th 2009
The corporate side of sport – and especially football – is a strange thing. On the one hand you feel like a right wanker sitting in some plush little room enjoying the finer things for free whilst all the punters around you eat reallycrap, really expensive pies. On the [...]

I survived an Old Firm derby and all I got was this stupid idea.

Rangers 0 – 1 Celtic
Ibrox, December 27th, 2008
Blood and thunder alone doth not a great football match make. It’s that simple. Passion is not enough to compensate for a glaring lack of quality. You can fill a stadium with as much derby rivalry (both the savoury and unsavoury varieties) as you like, but that won’t [...]

Fuckin’ beautiful, that ball-kicking game is

Arsenal 1 – 1 Liverpool
Emirates Stadium, December 21st, 2008
On the hour mark, this game got stained with hate. It actually took me surprise, how beastly football fans can be. I have never heard the word ‘cunt’ said so many times in quick succession (about a hundred times in a minute, to be precise), with so [...]

Barber shop punditry: better than real punditry

I just came back from my barber where the standard of punditry was excellent. Here’s the latest:
Chelsea ‘are rubbish.’
Liverpool will win the League. Crucially, they need a big dose of luck to get there but that is ‘what all teams need to win the title.’
Man United need Berbatov back in the line-up and doing ‘his Cantona [...]

Why it’s right to hate Cristiano Ronaldo.

Aston Villa 0 – 0 Manchester United
Villa Park, November 22nd, 2008
Let’s get all the obligatory stuff out of the way quickly so we can get down to elaborating on this article’s purposely inflammatory headline.
There was a lot talk around how Aston Villa would take it to Manchester United in this game. Villa have had [...]

Keane repays Kop faith with timely brace

Liverpool 3-0 West Bromwich Albion
Anfield, November 8th, 2008
Liverpool fans will have walked away from last night’s 3-0 victory with spirits high from the satisfaction of a job well done. The performance was not brilliant; it was simply appropriate for a team at the top of the Barclay’s Premier League playing a West Brom side that [...]